Mitch Gann’s

“Jokes for Baby Boomers” is a “lense” at Squidoo whose name says it all. Well, mostly all. There is a little more to the site than just jokes for boomers; there are also links to other Boomer lenses, ads aimed at Boomers, and comments by appreciative Boomer readers. But mostly it has jokes and funny lists like You are getting old when . . . (“You and your teeth don’t sleep together”) or 25 signs that you are getting old (#5. “You are proud of your lawn mower”). There are apparently several Boomer lenses on Squidoo, which is a site where anyone can create a nicely structured, well-focused and useful page for free. They call those pages “lenses.” You can even make money with them.

Just for the record, my teeth and I still sleep together and I am constantly embarrassed by my lawn mower. I can’t take it anywhere.

“A new wrinkle in smoking enforcement” Reuters:

Cigarette vending machines in Japan may soon start counting wrinkles, crow’s feet and skin sags to see if the customer is old enough to smoke.

The legal age for smoking in Japan is 20 and as the country’s 570,000 tobacco vending machines prepare for a July regulation requiring them to ensure buyers are not underage, a company has developed a system to identify age by studying facial features.

I don’t smoke and I don’t live in Japan, so this age-detecting technology is of no immediate concern to me, but you know that if it works, it will spread. Those of us who have a perpetually youthful appearance, despite our elder status, may be in trouble. Apparently, if the machine isn’t certain of your age, it will card you. Who wants to be carded by a robot? It’s been a while since anyone carded me. In fact, I can’t remember ever being carded. I have always had a mature look, even when I was a kid. Now the gray hair and beard are a give-away.

Come to think of it, I’m not concerned.

“Mother’s Day money advice” The Christian Science Monitor:

While greeting their college graduates back home, [Baby Boomer] mothers also assume economic responsibilities for the care of an aging parent, grandparent, or relative. A 2008 study indicated that almost 3 out of 10 baby-boomer mothers now fit the term “sandwich generation,” supporting a child under the age of 18 and a parent or grandparent.

Seventy-five percent of caregivers are women, assuming weighty financial obligations. Long-distance annual caregiver expenses were almost $9,000, with caregiver expenses for someone living nearby half that amount, according to a 2007 study by Evercare and the National Alliance for Care-giving. The majority of mothers will provide care for three or more years. And they frequently trade off a secure retirement to financially support an aging parent, taking out loans or increasing credit-card debt.

Comment: Not for the first time, I’m glad I’m a dad. But enjoy your day, Moms. If it were up to me, you would get two.

"Canada’s Baby Boomers are Lacking in the Bedroom" CNW Group

Obviously the topic is sex, right? Wrong! Get your mind out of the gutter, would you? We’re talking middle-aged people here. Some are close to elderly status (Not me or you, of course, but those other people over there. Yeah, you guys!)

OK, I thought it was about sex, too. Why else would I be reading a Canadian press release?

However, the real topic is sleep.   According to a survey conducted by The Better Sleep Council Canada, Canadian Boomers aren’t getting enough sleep. One reason may be their moldy old mattress.

At least, the BSCC would like us to think so; it helps sell new mattresses.

The release recommends replacing your mattress every ten years. This seems reasonable to me.  My wife and I replaced our mattress last week, retiring one that we’d slept on for at least 12 years.  It was time. The new mattress is more comfortable. Nevertheless, new mattress or not, I find myself sleeping less on an average night than in years past.  This is apparently a common trend among Boomers. According to the release, some of the common causes are stress, lack of exercise, and a spouse who snores.

Check, check and check.

“How’s your health? Study says boomer health worse than previous generation at same age” Boomer Consumer:

Poorer health, more pain, and more trouble doing everyday physical tasks was reported by Americans in their early to mid-50s than what was reported by their older peers at the same age in years past, a recent study shows.

The overall, self-reported health of people in three age groups was studied by researchers from the Health and Retirement Study: those born in (1) 1936-41, (2) 1942-47, and (3) 1948-53. More pain, chronic health conditions, and drinking and psychiatric problems were reported by the youngest group than people who were the same age 12 years earlier.

Comment: On the other hand, I’m doing better than my dad was at my age. He drank more than I ever have, and he smoked three packs a day for much of his adult life. I avoided the smoking habit altogether (yes, including the alternatives to tobacco). But like Dad, I am prone to eating more and exercising less than I ought to. He checked out at 72. I’m 55 now, and soon to tick over another year.

Somehow I’m not feeling my normal wry, bouyant self.

Also see: Senior Journal story.

Here’s something for all of us boomers to look forward to. I just hope they give it warm hands. Or clamps.

uBOT-5 (Source: gizmag)

“Will robots step up to help care for the aging baby boomer generation?” gizmag:

. . . The uBOT-5 could assist the elderly in living independently, providing relief for caregivers, doctors and community services workers. The robot is designed both to make life easy for its owner and to act as eyes, ears and communications portal for loved ones and caregivers in remote locations. . . .

. . . Recognizing the fact that isolation and associated depression is a great challenge for the elderly, the team built in several specialized communications features. The robot can handle incoming and outgoing phone calls through its video touch-screen, speakers and microphones, alerting its owners who may not hear a regular phone ringing. Video call capability can make it easy for loved ones to keep in touch, as well as for medical caregivers to perform virtual visits.